


All I needed was to cry

by immortaldragon12345



Category: Original Work
Genre: Carry On Quarantine, Depressing, Poetry, Quarantine 2020, Sad Ending, Sad and Happy, Whump, Why Did I Write This?, music lyrics, prompt, sad writing, writing prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24185911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortaldragon12345/pseuds/immortaldragon12345
Summary: A collection of sad and deep thought poems or stories.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	All I needed was to cry

Painful heart-wrenching.

(Wrote this a while ago but I'm not gonna read it over, I feel like younger me wouldn't do it so I'll respect it.)

"You were the reason why I hung on. You were the reason I kept my head above water you were there when I was scared all I wanted was for you to return the favour." She shakes her head tears welling up and threatening to break the dam begging to have the tears fall. "You never think before you act. You never thought through what you did. You never took a moment to think about how it would affect me. You just acted. Without thinking. Not once caring how It would affect me."

The tears start rolling down her cheek, softly falling one by one to the ground beneath her feet. She doesn't look at him for a bit, trying to understand the chaos that is trapped in her mind, so he just sat there nothing to say or do. She finally turns to him. "You hurt me. You promised you would be loyal to me. You promised to be there. You promised to help me. So many promises so many broken. I don't even know why you bothered to make a promise you weren't even going to keep. You threw my heart into the flames"

"You promised me," She says as tears stream down her face. "You said you would be there," She said as more tears fell faster and faster. "But you weren't" she whispered, "You lied". She cries harder as she faces him again "You just lie. Again, and again it's all the same" she yells now pushing him again and again. "You only lie. That's all you do" She cries harder and pushes him further and further away. "You said you would catch me if I fell." She pauses her face covered in tears and her hair a mess. "But you didn't. And I had no safety net to catch me. Can you guess what happened? I fell" She cries out and shoves him as hard as she can, and he falls.

"I broke. Shattered into millions of pieces and even then, you weren't there." She says and kicks him. "I had to try to glue myself back together, but I couldn't, so I was broken and still you weren't there. I was unsteady ready to plummet or disappear but were you there? No, you weren't. You broke your promise. You lied to me and now you must pay for it." She wipes her tears away and kicks him away from her. "You said you loved me but if you did you would have caught me when I fell. You would have glued me back together when I broke... But you didn't."

"Did you even love me?" She looks over at him. "Did you even care? Was I just a game to you?" She shakes her head and turns away her hair blowing in the wind as she looks over the cliff at the rocks below. The rocks that could end a life so fast but could also be pretty. "Was I just an Item? A toy? Something to have fun with?" She sighs and moves a little closer to the cliff. She moves her hair to the side and looks over at him again tears streaming down her face. "Honestly I don't know why you even bothered to promise me if you were just going to break it." She shakes her head. "It's a waste of time to make a promise if you are just going to break it."

She steps back a little and he tries to reach forward, but she pushes him backward again. "Not this time. It's too late don't try to save me when you wouldn't before." He stands and tries to move forward, but she moves backward shakingly arms moving wildly as her face says her new idea.

"try to catch this." She says and she steps back falling backwards with a small smile and is gone. Just like that. She is gone forever. He can't fix it. Saying sorry will do nothing. Glue can't be used, and no safety net will save her. No catching her. And as she falls, she thinks wow what a beautiful sky so clear and perfect. How nice so beautiful. Then she is gone. No one to catch her as she falls forever. What peace seeing that sky forever. It must be nice to be so free. So calm. It must be perfect.

And he lives his life, not at all affected by the girl he claimed he loved the one who always helped him, but he didn't help her back. He didn't try to stop her. He let her fall. Even though he promised to catch her he never did.

He forgot about his promise to her and went on to live a life forgetting she existed and that she loved him. He got married and had kids never once thinking back on his lover. Never once wondering if she survived the fall only assuming she was gone. He never knew how much he loved her because he cast her aside like she was nothing and only used her when he needed help never returning the favour.

He continued to live his life even though hers had ended. Never told her parents he saw her die. Never once said anything about her. He never went to her funeral. Never once said anything to them after she died. He just pushed them aside and forgot. Because maybe he did love her.

And by forgetting her the pain lessened. Maybe by forgetting her, the pain hurt less or maybe he just felt guilty about being the reason she was gone. It didn't matter though because he was happy right? Nothing bad should happen to him because he was happy right? He never thought about how this happens to so many girls whose hearts get broken daily.

How the guys never bend down to pick up the pieces they just break them more. He never thought that maybe this could happen to his daughter. Never once questioned what would have happened if he kept his promise. He just moved on. She threw the good memories away and burned the bad ones because to him she wasn't worth remembering.

He saw it as her fault. She could have just decided to not jump, and she would be fine. He wouldn't get it ever. No one would change his perspective because no one else knew. He threw all the things she gave him into the garbage.

He removed her from his life like it was nothing and this happens. All too often. Some guys just don't care. They give no fucks about who they hurt. They don't care if they break the person who loved them because all they think about is the next girl they could date. Life went on and it was like she no longer existed. Everyone forgot about her and if someone spoke of her no one would know who they spoke of. She was just gone. How easily she was forgotten.

Like she had no effect on anyone. She was just a speck of dust. So boring everyone just forgot. But we never think to maybe look at the other person's point of view. The man had struggles too. His mental health threatened to drag him down and drown him. His thoughts were deadly sometimes and the girl made them ok, but she has problems of her own. He needed a break from her sometimes. It was only natural. Her problems were sometimes too much for him.

He slowly started to need more breaks and she noticed. She would blame him for little things. Make it seem like it was his fault. It never was. She would yell and scream at him blaming him for a variety of things he didn't do. He would let it happen as he watched her health slowly decline and he wouldn't be able to stop it.

That's how they got to the cliff. How he tried to stop her from falling. But she was too far gone. He sat at the edge of the cliff crying as he stares down at her broken on the rocks. He cries for her tears falling over the cliff. His grief consuming him, and he goes to take that final step to join her when he stops.

He moves away from the cliff knowing her doesn't deserve to go. He knows he may have pushed her that last bit, but the rest was her. He doesn't deserve to go instead he chooses to walk alone with his grief. His outward appearance looking like he moved on. But inside he is a raging storm that never ends.

He builds walls and masks to make the world think he is fine. He sees the grief as only his. So, he treats it as such. He walks alone as he planned and the grief ways him down. His mental health worsens, and it pushes him down as he fights to take a step. It becomes too much at some point and he falls to his knees. The walls breaking and masks shattering as his grief is showed to the world.

He cries for his love as he sits drowned by his grief. That slowly drags him further under. Refusing to let him breathe even for a second. Because if it does in just that one split second, he might forget her and he isn't allowed to do that. No, because he must feel that pain forever because part of him will always blame himself.

He will never get a break. Because he chooses to live. No matter what. So, he wanders alone with the pain he chose to carry. Never stopping always walking. But it was too much. It broke him like her. And he returned to the cliff and looked out at the sun and said goodbye. Falling just like her. What a beautiful sky she would have liked it. And he landed beside her smiling because now they are together forever. What a beautiful death together forever wasting away in loves haze.


End file.
